We Turn a Year Older Together

I feel weird again...

Superman is a powerful guy.

He is pretty much everything that you can imagine all rolled into one. I mean, he's so powerful that comic book writers had to turn to magic in order to find ways to make him seem vulnerable.

Anyway... I believe that Superman (in and of itself) is a misunderstanding. Despite the fact that he is the full package, Superman spends his entire time hiding who he is and what he does. To me, Superman (not Clark Kent) is an immigrant. He's from somewhere else. It doesn't matter where he's from, he's just from somewhere else.

Jesus... Being on Earth goes as far as to change his physical make-up which means he has to change who he is to blend into a world that will never understand or accept who he is.

This is how I feel now.

I wrote a post earlier in the month (which I buried in this blog) about this feeling of anxiety on my brain. It was a feeling I couldn't shake. I got involved in a few things with the intention of doing something incredibly stupid... on purpose. And I spent a good chunk of my time trying to figure out how to get over this sense of anxiety.

It's playing Twister in complete darkness.











Despite the fact that the pictures you see of my birthday are of people smiling, there are others that do just the opposite. 



And I have them. On my hardrive.








So what's the point? Superman? Stupidity?

I have come to realize that this feeling is not because I did something stupid but because I've mixed up what it means to be alone in a different country.

I'm the immigrant.

My birthday didn't end at Sam Ryan's, but it did end with a "no". And for the first time since this whole thing started, someone has turned on the light. And now I know where the all colours are. I'm the one holding the spinner. I've got my finger on the black arrow and I'm ready to play again.

Something happened to me very recently that reaffirmed this entire entry and let me realize one thing: There is nothing more powerful than being able to make your choices in the open.

Once again, I regret nothing.